


Call your world (I am about to explode)

by MissCatherineEarnshaw



Category: NaPolA | Before the Fall (2004)
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, Songfic, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCatherineEarnshaw/pseuds/MissCatherineEarnshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It's not very hard to let it go, to stay passive as the blows repeat and the crow hurls. It's as if he's seeing himself with outer eyes and only his body is hurt, but the pain itself has nothing to do with the one he felt as he watched Albrecht sink in the lake.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Inspired by Coldplay's Atlas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call your world (I am about to explode)

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Can we pretend Coldplay's song are not the only one I'm using for my songfic ? That would be very kind~~  
>  I'm sorry but this band is so good and their songs make me so emotional that I can't help it. Repeated listening of Atlas while I was recovering from the tragedy that is NaPolA's end induced me to this.
> 
> I'm french and so I apologize for all the mistakes you may find here. I could have tried to write it in German to be honest, but I fear that my German is far more horrid than my English, so...

* * *

 

_Some saw the sun_  
 _Some saw the smoke_  
 _Some heard the gun_  
 _Some bent the bow_  
 _Sometimes the wise must tense for the note_  
 _Caught in the fire, say oh_  
 _Were about to explode_

 

Friedrich stands on the ring, motionless as his opponent punches him over and over. Maybe he should resent him-he doesn't seem to repress his blows in the least-but he doesn't. It would be a bit hypocritical, especially when he thinks to his first fight on this very ring-his intense satisfaction when he delivered the final punch to his near-unconscious adversary. It may have been his first mistake, his first evil act in the grand scheme of things, according to Albrecht anyway. If he chose differently that one time, he wouldn't be standing here right now. Maybe Albrecht would still be with him...He very nearly closes his eyes to block the thought but decides against it. He would look like a coward and that wouldn't be right- if he was a coward before, he certainly isn't right now.Though he wouldn't go as far as to say he's being courageous, because it feels almost too easy. It's not a constant effort to repress his urge to block the blows and instead stand there, waiting for them, as one would have expected. It was the initial decision that was hard to take- the precise moment he decided to stop fighting. After this, it's not very hard to let it go, to stay passive as the blows repeat and the crow hurls. It's as if he's seeing himself with outer eyes and only his body is hurt, but the pain itself has nothing to do with the one he felt as he watched Albrecht sink in the lake. His heart was ripped open then-bruises are nothing in comparison.

 

One could think that it's fear which is the most difficult to bear-fear of what's going to happen to him because of this tentative of rebellion. It could, of course, but it seems laughable at best when he remembers Albrecht's fate. Of course, some would pretend he chose it and was the only one to responsible for his death- the idea alone makes Friedrich grit his teeth- but even the school and the officials cannot deny his own father was going to send him to the east's front. Which would have meant almost certain death, for a cause Albrecht no longer believed in. It was this decision which killed him. Compared to this, everything they could do to Friedrich seem insignificant- they're going to expel him, obviously, but apart from that ? It'd still be a lot better than what they did to Albrecht, anyway.

 

 

_Call your world, I'll call your world_  
 _Some far away_  
 _Some search for gold_  
 _Some dragon to slay_  
 _Heaven we hope is just up the road_  
 _Show me the way, lord because I am about to explode_

 

 

Albrecht. Even is his eyes aren't closed, Friedrich can still feel his image burning behind his eyelids, as if he's bound to keep seeing him, over and over.

He remembers the last meaningful moment they shared, before the lake, before all the coldness and the darkness. They were sat together on the bathroom tiles after the end of their initial outburst. He asked Albrecht what was in the essay he never got the chance to read, and Albrecht told him, because he knew it almost by heart, each sentences neatly buried in his mind. Friedrich only listened and let the sounds and their meanings, both plain and hidden, overwhelm him. It was about snow and obscurity, fear and despair, hope and disillusion- how very foreshadowing. Friedrich took his hand when he finished and pressed it hard, because he wanted to never let him and go, and Albrecht pressed back, and for a moment, it looked like they could get what they both wanted without even knowing it.

But suddenly there were noises in the corridor, and Friedrich dropped Albrecht's hand without thinking. His friend gave him a tight smile and stood up, and the next minute boys were filling in the bathroom and they were apart again. The moment was gone.

Friedrich thinks back about it, and if he has to fight back the tears, it is not because blood is now filling his mouth.

 

 

_Call your world, I'll call your world  
Call your world and all you hurt_

 


End file.
